That was about the time that I knew something had to change....for my sanity, and for my kid's well being, 'cause an insane Momma is not a good thing, nope, not.at.all! I knew there was no way that one could remain sane and always have either a toddler and/or a baby awake at all times of the day with little to no reprieve from one or the other. Not to mention that nighttime sleeping also was not going well.
Naptimes went through different phases over the first year. I know I have already talked about the ThreeFootTallTotMonster who would interrupt just as Zachy was almost alseep. And then we had totgirl herself, who would not go down for a nap unless I was with her. Finding it impossible to coordinate either of Zachy's naps with her one nap, I would try to put her down while keeping him quiet. For the most part, this worked marginally well probably for about six months. Stressful on me, but we managed...not great, but we did manage. Then, he got louder and would not just nurse to nurse. So, I had both interfering with one another's naps.
Then at about nine months, it all got progressively harder and harder and harder. Zachy was very difficult to figure out a solid sleep routine with. This was likely due, in part, to his still frequent nighttime wakings and, in part, due to the hour long drive to totbabycollege two days a week, which meant catnaps in the morning and evening, which meant it was hard to keep bedtime consistent and therefore naps and so on and so on and so on. Same thing happened with Mackenzie during her first year.
So, from about nine to about twelve months, it was pretty much a daily disaster. Some days better than others, but, overall, N.U.T.S.! Totgirl would refuse naps, but still clearly needed them. Zachy would take two naps a day, but I never really could figure out when was best and the length just never had any rhythm or predictability; So, I never knew what to expect. About three or four in the afternoon, we were all in meltdown mode.
And then came the day of the TEN minute cumulative 'naps'....that was our turning point. I had been considering moving Zachy to one nap. He did not seem quite ready, but CLEARLY nothing else was working. And totgirl....well, it was just plain way over the time where she was just going to HAVE to go down to nap by herself. Cry it out had NEVER worked with her before (even her early babysitter agreed that it did not work for her). But, we all needed MiaMomma to have some sort of grounding break during the day (And it was about this time I let Dad take over the nights with Zachy; Nobody can function on that little sleep for that long and be human).
So, I set my plan in motion: Totgirl to lay down by herself and Zachy to move to one nap. Took a few days, but it all worked. Totgirl protested loudly the first day, not as loudly the second, and hardly at all by the third; She does continue to have some protest daily, but it is pretty weak and she knows I mean business. Zachy adjusted to one nap, which took probably one to two weeks. I also think, strangely, that moving him to one nap helped regulate his nighttime sleep (along with Dad being in the room instead of me). And, he now goes down easily and in his crib no problem...who'da thunk?!?!?
Totgirl is still a nighttime cosleeper. I don't think Zachy was ever really a cosleeper, but I did keep him in bed with me for months for my own survival. Totgirl talks about having her own big girl bed and I think she is getting more and more ready to move in that direction. We are trying to get her to go to sleep on her own at night now, but she is fighting that one HUGELY! But, it'll happen...in TotgirlTime, whenever that is.
So...that's the story of naps and sleep around here over the last year. Clearly, MiaMomma is a bit traumatized from the whole thing, but things are good now. And, for that, I am so.very.grateful! And, I am more convinced than ever that there would not be as many books on sleep as there are and as many internet threads, and as much well intentioned advise, if babies sleeping was an easy or one size fits all kind of thing.
So, today I got two hours thirty out of Zachy and one hour thirty out of Totgirl! That's FOUR cumulative hours, with a whole hour thirty of total peace and quiet...YIPEEEEE!!!!!!! And, on some level, as difficult as the day was, I gotta look back on TEN minute nap day and be thankful, because that day made my life a whole lot better!
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE spending time with my kids and playing and being a Momma. But, today at one o'clock, the house was quiet and my kids looked like this....
...and THAT gives MiaMomma a little time to have some quiet and get some things done. And THAT is a good thing for everyone!
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