SimpleIronies

From MiaMommaMusings...Being a Mother, you quickly learn that there are some Ironies that come with. Off the top of my head...

• The pincer grasp develops right around the same time as the ability to crawl.
• Babies have about a three second attention span; if they are quieter longer than that, it means they have discovered a choking hazard or something else equally as dangerous like the one unbabyproofed electrical socket in the house.
• No matter how hard you try, you won't find a toy that will hold your nine month old's attention span, unless it's a bag of marbles of course.
• If there's a needle in a haystack to be found, send a baby. (S)He'll find it no problem.
• Teething and ear infections pretty much look the same, symptom wise.
• It's normal for a breast fed baby to go days without pooping. Unfortunately, dehydrated babies also don't poop for days.
• Teething babies drool a lot. So do babies with sore throats.
• Doctor's make a lot of money off teething babies, cause you never know if they might have an ear infection or a sore throat or a stomach virus for that matter cause teething babies can also poop a lot, bordering on diarrhea.
• I say ear infections alone are a doc's bread and butter. The rest is all just gravy.
• Sleep books suck. And if it was really as easy as they all say, there would not be such a market for them. Bottom line.
• Every time you THINK you have your child's 'schedule' figured out, it changes.
• All the advice you see in books and get from people sounds great in theory. And would probably work, if there were not a million other things interfering.
• Example: Involve your toddler in a quiet activity while you are putting your newborn asleep. Brilliant? More like common sense. But even common sense knows that this requires the cooperation of the tot and that the baby falls asleep before the tot's attention span runs out. Neither of which is very likely.
• No matter how cool the push toy you get them is, they will just push the trash can, or the stepping stool or anything else that moves.
• And yes, they like the boxes that the toys come in as much or more than the actual toys.
• It's almost impossible to have kid's meals ready for them when they are actually hungry. Either they're not hungry when it is ready or it's not ready and they're hungry and they're screaming.
• Most of your own meals consistent of eating their scraps.
• The phone will always ring or someone will inevitably knock on the door really really loud right when you finally get your baby to sleep. Even in the middle of nowhere.
• The terrible twos get a really bad rap. During them you THINK you have it all figured out. Get a bit cocky. But then the threes hit. Whoa. That's what parents need to be warned about.
• 99% of your day is spent trying to get your toddlers entertained enough so you can get something 'done.' The other 1% is spent cleaning up after all your failed efforts at entertaining them.
• You eagerly wait for your baby to say Momma. Despite how wonderful this sounds at first, there does come a time when you have moments where you wish your name was Dada.
•  A toddler who doesn't want to do something suddenly has strength equal to that of the Incredible Hulk and weighs as much an Elephant.
• You do forget. This is painfully obvious by all the glares you get in the store when your toddler is acting up.
• It really is Hard. Worth it, but Hard.