Ah-liCat

Today Mackenzie was going through some old photos and said, 'Oh, that Ah-li cat.' She was referring to Tali, who is no longer with us. Talicat was laid to rest almost exactly three years ago. Mackenzie recognises her through photos. 'What happened to Ah-li cat, Momma?' 'She died.' 'Why, Momma?' 'Her body was not working anymore.'

Death is such a strange thing when you are trying to explain it to a Toddler. I had a Death and Dying class once and I cannot remember for the *life* of me what you are supposed to say a three year old. I remember what you don't want to say. You don't want to say that someone was sick, or tired, or went bye-bye. I seem to remember that saying someone died because they were old is a no-no as well. It can be scary to them, especially if they have older people in their lives, like grandparents. If I recall, religious beliefs aside, saying things like they went to Heaven or that God took them is too abstract and confusing to someone so little. And, it can also be scary. Yah, a lot of things not to say.

I think I gave the right response.

So, back to Talicat. Talicat was old when Mackenzie came into this world. She was about seventeen. I waited for years for Talicat to die. Not because I wanted her to, but for years she seemed to be on her way out. Seriously. But that cat hung on like nobody's business. I'm telling you. She was a tough old cat. In the end she was pretty sickly. I (We) kept thinking she would pass naturally. But no, she just kept on. She had some dementia for her last couple of years. It was really rather endearing, sad but endearing. Suddenly you would hear her crackly meow and you knew she was likely stuck, facing some random wall in the house, not realising she could just turn around. You would yell out 'You're okay Tali,' which seemed to orient her. I smile remembering her, young and old.

When I was pregnant with Mackenzie I really hoped Tali would be alive long enough to meet her. Somehow it seemed very important to me. She had, after all, been in my life for a good sixteen plus years at that point. And she did. Unlike the other cats who ran and hid, she was pretty oblivious to the crying newborn in the house. Now that's a confused cat for sure! Shortly before Tali died, when Mackenzie was almost four months old, I actually got a picture of the two of them by one another. It meant a lot. I'd have to go through too many unorganised photos to find it, but here is a picture of Miss Talicat in her later years...

Today, quite awhile after she saw the pictures of her dear old friend Talicat, Mackenzie randomly said to me, 'Momma, I missing that cat. Ah-li cat. The cat that died-ed. I'm still a little upset.' Me too my sweet little Mackenzie, me too.