She has a way of making me laugh. She is the only person I can think of who can make me want to scream and laugh at the same time. A few days ago, I was putting Zachy to bed. I let her stay on the couch and watch TV provided she did not interrupt. I had the bedroom door open just slightly. Next thing you know, I can see her cute little self trying to peak at me through the crack. Her cute little three-foot body sort of bent over and her head going up and down and to the side, trying to get the angle just right so she could catch my eye. I was trying not to laugh because she looked so adorable, but, at the same time, I wanted to scream as I felt my anxiety increasing because I feared the ThreeFootTallTotmonster had returned and was flirting with interrupting Zachy's naptime.
These days she holds her ground like an mule and likes to push limits and see what's going to happen. At the same time, ironically, she is more likely than before to enforce the limits herself. So, while she might make a big show of resistance to whatever it is that is 'expected' of her, she will suddenly, of her own free will, do what it is she 'needs' to do. Watching this process has helped me learn to be less over-reactive, and to allow her an opportunity to work it out. And in the process, she is able to experience a positive sense of power, feels good about herself and develops a bit more self control.
Her imagination blows my mind. She's really creative in her play and loves to play pretend. She uses a Little Tike's table upside down to play Merry Go Round and gives Zachy rides. She uses different things as baby cribs for her dolls (despite having actual play cribs, why did I waste that money?). She likes to make up stories. Often about cows of all things - middle of nowhere influence coming through. Through the day, she pretends she is different people and actually stays in character. One day she was 'Miss Ann' and I mistakenly called her 'Mackenzie.' I went to the back bathroom and quickly heard her coming after me yelling. Once she found me, she loudly said, 'I NOT Mackenzie, I Miss Ann.' To which I responded, 'Hi Miss Ann.' Then she cocked her head to the side and with a sweet smile and even sweeter voice and said, 'Hi-iii.' All the girl wanted was a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T.!
Then there's the baby game. Not my favorite. I have tried numerous things to discourage this game. It's a game where I have to treat her like a baby. There's something slightly un-enjoyable about this for me. Okay, really un-enjoyable. Truthfully, I think twins would be less work than she is when she plays baby. For Christmas she had wanted (and got) a red baby buggy for her dolls. I had tried telling her that it's a big girl toy and not for babies, so we would have to tell Santa not to bring her one. She replied with, 'I charge my cell phone and then I call him to bring me push toys.' Really? So much for reverse psychology! At one point I told her, 'Mackenzie, I am not playing the baby game anymore.' She responded with a very stern, 'I NOT Mackenzie. I NOT playing baby. I AM BABY.' So there. As usual, I stand corrected. But, I have finally, I think, managed to take some of the fun out of the game, therefore hopefully eliminating it or at least changing the rules to make it more tolerable. I refuse to let her waste any more diapers. It was getting ridiculous. Before Christmas I had too much going on and, admittedly, allowed things to happen so I could accomplish something. And, there was a time where I did not want to make it a power struggle, so I figured indulging it would let it run it's natural course. But, the 'baby game' had an annoying life of it's own. Finally the other day I told her 'No more wasting diapers.' (She is potty trained, which made the diaper thing even more annoying.) Initially, she protested loudly for about fifteen minutes, however, now when she wants to play 'baby,' she says, 'I can pretend to be baby in my big girl clothes, right?' And the game and involvement are less intensive. For now.
Mackenzie has started to make up words. She might say something like, 'That's beebah.' She loves that she makes up words. Gets really proud of her 'new word.' She also makes up songs. Her songs are usually to tunes she already knows. She will either make up new lyrics or just switches 'em up a little bit. Last night she was singing a song that says I love you...and she started to sing, 'I love Zachy. Oh Zachy Zachy Zachy, you my little brother. I love Zachy.' THAT was sweet. When she makes up all new lyrics, they usually relate to 'poopy' and 'stinky.' Today she sang 'Twinkle twinkle wittle Christmas star....' Speaking of songs, she loves to sing and dance and perform. She will get out the play mic and sing for us. She works the crowd, totally. At the end of the song, her voice will gain intensity and bravado and she will go into some sort of run. When she finishes, she does the whole, 'Thank you all for coming,!' and takes a bow.
She is figuring out how to apply more complex concepts such as time - 'tomorrow,' 'yesterday,' 'later' and such as 'too small' or 'too big.' 'Yesterday' is anything that happened in the past and 'Tomorrow' is, of course, anything that will happen in the future. She knows what 'small' and 'big' are if she sees them in a concrete way - pictures or blocks, for example. But, trying to figure out if she means her shoes are 'too small' or 'big' is another story. Actually her shoes could even fit and she just doesn't wear them, so then she plays like they are too small or big just to get out of it. She's a clever one. And a tot that cried wolf FOR SURE! She will like to throw out random times for things, such as, 'I go to bed at forty-five-six.' I love her use of the past tense: 'I sleep-ded good.' Lately, she loves to use the word 'Ever' for emphasis. 'I ever not going to do that Momma!' She randomly uses phrases or words I didn't realise she knew, 'Oh my Goodness!' came out of her mouth out of the blue last week. All things just sound cuter when a three year old says them.
I have decided that I really need to attach a sign to her when I take her in public that says, 'Beware, Sassy Tot. Talk with Caution and at Your Own Risk!' One evening I stopped by my work with her. I think the people at my work have a sense of humor. At least I hope they do. Truth is, she was pretty cute, although pretty sassy. Walking a fine line there, MissyTotgirl! What I do know is that she is figuring out social situations, as three year old kids do. Despite being sassy and spirited, she can be very shy around strangers, so, I think it makes her a little nervous when people she doesn't know start talking and paying attention to her, and she reacts. Sometimes big people expect kids to be able to handle things in grown up ways. She has her own temperament and her own personality. She's on the Slow to Warm Up side of things. She just is who she is and that's prefectly okay.
Mackenzie is a great big sister to Zachy. Well usually. Sometimes he bugs her. Sometimes intentionally, often unintentionally - but probably more and more intentionally than not. But she loves nothing more than when she is in the mood and he plays with her. They laugh together and it's delightful to watch. She definitely owns her role as Big Sister. She has become the 'Helper' and will try to comfort him when he is upset, speaks for him at times, bosses him around here and there and is, most of all, veryVeryVERY protective over him. You will be met with her totwrath if you try to touch him in public or if she perceives that you have made him cry (Only She is allowed to do that!). Today some people walked by our house and they dared to say, 'Hi.' She put her arm around him and guided him away. Protective indeed.
She is beginning to understand more about her feelings and emotions (as well as the feelings and emotions of others). And learning to Problem Solve, which I think helps her learn to regulate her emotions. The other day she identified herself as being 'angry' and was able to explain why. I was blown away. She said it appropriately and without tantrum. She can tell me when she is sad or happy. She practices her different emotions. She is learning to ask for what she needs. She has started, for example, to ask for help when her little brother frustrates her, instead of just knocking him over (although that still happens too).
I would venture to say that Mackenzie, already at Three, knows me pretty well. I really think we get one another. She likes to tell me 'It's okay Momma' usually when she knows I am getting 'Frustrated' ('Don't get frustrated, Momma. It's okay.'). She'll also provide reassurance if something 'happens.' Like maybe something falls over (amazing how many things fall over when you have kids, right?). 'It's okay, Momma. You can pick it up.' Note she doesn't say she'll pick it up (Me, Laughing). I think we have a pretty good relationship. I try very hard to listen to her, let her know she is important. Because she is. I encourage her to speak up and tell me what is going on. Sometimes it's complicated. But we work things out.
For whatever reason Three definitely started out rough. But all in all, almost five months into Three, I'd have to say I am finding to be magnificently complex and magically simple at the same time. It seems to be an age of dichotomies and contradictions. She is developing and learning new things every day. She's making connections between things. She is impulsive yet, able to think through situations more and more. She is emotionally reactive, yet able to come around by providing herself with thoughtful comfort. She's more combative than ever, but also more intentionally compliant. She wants to please. She's figuring out social relationships and how to 'Be.' She's able to reframe and reorganize things, restore balance in her universe and herself. She's a bit yin and a bit yang. One might say, ThreeIsWheeeee! And, I'm Lovin' It! I'm Lovin' Her!
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