She'sComeSoFar

Monday night Mackenzie's ballet class had an open house recital. It was a low key event, but they had out cookies and juice. Chairs were set up in the studio and they did a normal class, but with an audience. Perfect for a little one's first 'performance.'

I was so proud of my little girl. I wanted to cry. Multiple times. My little girl has come so far. She has 'worked it out' as she has said herself at times when she as feeling 'a little shy.' Over the last several months she has had a class here and there that didn't go too well, but we have worked hard together to get through that, because she really does enjoy herself. She practices at home and, when she has a good class - where she is brave and has fun, she feels good about it. It's been a wonderful evolution. And seeing her today, despite feeling a little shy since there were parents in the room, seeing her hang in there and do her best...it was wonderful. Most wonderful.

She's learning in ballet. Some simple dance moves and basic techniques for moving and controlling her body. But most importantly, she's learning about herself and learning that she can work through being shy or nervous. It's okay if she doesn't know something, this is how we learn, by practicing and by trying. She's learning that she can be strong and can handle more than she thought possible. She's learning to trust herself. She's learning to be herself. And more than anything, I hope she's learning what it feels like to feel good about herself.

Congratulations on your first 'performance,' Mackenzie. Before bed we looked at some pictures together and you enjoyed seeing the photos of your recital. Tonight you were beaming. And that made me happy. Really really happy.

I was so proud of my little girl. I wanted to cry. And I did. Just a little. You have come a long way my sweetness!

GymnasticsDayOne

When we went to Tsunami on the Square in June, the gymnasts came and did a little demonstration. Some totcoaches let the youngins line up and helped them do back flips, of sorts. Mackenzie was drawn. My sometimes shy (sometimes not shy, but always pretty cautious and slow to warm up) Mackenzie marched over and stood in line. She was a little nervous, but determined nonetheless.

Since then she has talked about gymnastics and wanting to take lessons. Okay, my little Mackenzie, consider it done! I called and they had an opening. For Saturdays at 10 am. Not my first choice, but it'll work and get us started.

She got a little nervous at times during the week. After seeing the place on Wednesday when we went to sign the papers, I think she might have gotten even a little more nervous. But, she also stayed excited about being in gymnastics. And determined. That's my girl! Last night she said she was ready.

This morning she was all hyped up.

Come watch your big sister when you get there Zachy, okay? (true quote)

We were a little early, so she watched the other students through the window. Along with brother.

And then they called the yellow cards. She had a yellow card. Time to go. They started with butterfly legs and then pizza legs and then became cats. She sat and looked at me.

But have no fear, once they moved on and I moved out to the lobby, she warmed up.

And maybe even enjoyed herself just a little...

NoMatterHowSmall

Yesterday Mackenzie and I went to see Suessical the Musical put on by teens at our local Fine Arts Theater. We met Ben, Caleb and Momma Julie and Ari and Momma Tess.

I'd say it was a good time. Last week we saw Alice in Wonderland. Mackenzie did a fantastic job of following theater rules. But, the second half got a bit boring for her.

Suessical kept her entertained. All the singing and the dancing and the 'Feather Girls' as she named them. She laughed at times. She smiled. Her eyes sparkled. She really did enjoy herself.

Afterward, we went for ice cream with everyone and the kids ran around the Square. She, like Ari, got Rainbow Ice Cream.

She spent much of her time at the Square playing Feather Girl. A mother I chatted with for awhile commented on just how funny she is. Is the brunette yours? She asked. Yes. I said. She's really funny. And has a great imagination.

Yep, that's my girl.

Just remembering it all makes me smile.

In the words of Dr. Suess...

A Person's a Person, no matter how small.

Thank You for a special day, Mackenzie! I love you. So very very much.

Doesn't take Dr. Suess to remind me...

How lucky I am!

M'sFirstWatch

But Jordan has a watch...

And so it begins. Already at three. This wasn't the first time and is far from the last. But, yes, Mackenzie had to get a watch.

She did. A :Pink watch. Tinkerbelle watch. A Pink Tinkerbelle watch.

She loves her watch.

Every time we do anything now, she checks her watch to make sure it's 'time.' Sometimes it is, sometimes I have to wait  just two more minutes. The other day she woke me up and pointed at her watch: It's time for you to wake up Momma. My watch says so. Awhile later she woke up Dad. Same thing.

She wore her watch to school. I sure hope Saiger likes my watch. Maybe she will have to go to Walmart and get a Tinkerbelle watch like me.

I'm sure Saiger's mom will thank me later.

Yep, very proud she is of her watch. She wears it all day, checks it all day, keeps it on her nightstand next to her at night, in a safe place. Makes sure it's there first thing in the morning. Repeat.

And all for $6.95!

SleepTightMackenzie

Saturday night Mackenzie very definitely stated that she is ready to sleep in her room, by herself. Just as soon as Dad puts her bed together. Sunday, Dad put her bed together.

Afterwards she was so excited. She got on her bed. Told everyone she wanted to be alone in her room. On her bed. She told Dad she was proud of him for putting her bed together and said Thank You. She pondered over what she might want to put in the different drawers.

Come bedtime, I laid down with her. She made a nervous comment or two. Suggested that perhaps I could sleep on her rug. Or in her bed for that matter. She wanted the light on. But she fell asleep despite herself. In her bed.

I don't know yet if she'll make it all night. But tonight I am proud of her. She's three years and ten months. I was sure she would cosleep until she left home. Just kidding. Yet, cosleeping has sure I sit here been her nature.

I'm not going to lie. I feel a little teary. I will be nothing more than excited for her and proud of her whether she makes it all night, an hour or five. Still, she often wakes me up by saying I love you Momma. And that I will miss.

Sleep tight my precious little girl! Momma loves you too. Like absolute crazy and so much more than you will ever know.

PreschoolBlessings

A couple of weeks ago we had a Curriculum Night at the Preschool followed by a Parent Teacher conference for Mackenzie the next week.

At curriculum night, there were just a few parents there, mostly parents who also had kids that have been in the program since the baby room. Miss Anne and Miss Sara along with Miss Vickey the Director could not say enough about this class as a whole. They spoke about how bonded they are and what good friends they are to one another. This seems to be in large part because a core group of them, including Mackenzie, have been together since they were babies. When new kids come in, they are welcomed and quickly adapt to the tone of the class.

I can see how special it is there. I know Mackenzie owns her school. She loves her friends and there is definitely a fondness for the few others who have made this journey with her: Saige, JoJo Emerson and Andrew. Slightly older and a bit ahead until this year are Teddy and Jordan S. Mackenzie's old M-W-F counterpart is now five days so Mackenzie has gotten to know Kennedy as well. Danielle has been around quite awhile, as have been Michael and Maverick.

After the parents got out and went to pick up the kids, Mackenzie was in the room happily playing. Her and "Saiger" hugged good-bye. Twice. Zachy was in there too. He got to play in the big kid's room and had a HUGE smile on his face when we walked in. Mr. Jon expressed what a good guy Zachy is. They love him everywhere, I tell you.

I worry what will happen when Mackenzie goes to Kindergarten, although I know she'll be fine. I hope she finds the magic there that she has found at FEC. If I know nothing else, I know that they have prepared her well. They have made school fun. They have her opened her mind and heart to learning. Could I ask for anything more?

As Zachy makes his way through the program, I have every bit of confidence that he will also take away a love for learning. I have every bit of confidence that he too will continue to benefit from the nurturing and enriched learning opportunities they provide.

I have said it before, but I feel so Blessed that my kids and our family are a part of such a wonderful community.

Momma'sBirthday

Momma turned a year older yesterday.

Earlier in the week I thought it'd be a good idea to prepare Mackenzie for 'the day.' Especially since she is really into birthdays. Well, not really birthdays in general, just her birthday.

Accordingly, her response was not all that favorable.

You mean you get a birthday first? I want a birthday. Not fair. Why you get a birthday first? I not going to draw you anything. Here (handing me a piece of paper), you draw me something.

So, I did. I drew her a lovely picture. Lovely for someone who is artistically challenged that is.

Write Mommy Loves Mackenzie on it.

So, I did.

And she hastily scribbled me something in return.

There. That your birthday picture.

The following day in the car, Dad tried talking to her about my upcoming 'day.' From the sound of his report, her response hadn't toned down much.

Then came the actual morning. It was a work/school day. Close to departure time, she came running in Happy Birthday Momma!

Awww...made my day. She even handed me another hastily scribbled picture.

As I started to make my way out the door, she started to cry. I want to be at your happy birthday party at work. I explained to her that they don't really do that. She was unconvinced and still upset as I drove away.

When I got home from work, she and Dad were in the bedroom. She ran out and yelled back to him We better hurry for the Happy Birthday Surprise. Then looked at me and said Stay here. We cutting something in the bedroom.

I cannot begin to tell you how cute she looked. The idea of me having a birthday had grown on her and she was so sweet about now wanting to orchestrate the 'surprise.' Makes me smile.

Meanwhile, Zachy came over and gave me a hug. Just because he does. He doesn't know what a birthday is yet. Although he does sort of know the song, since Mackenzie sings it often. To herself.

Mackenzie brought out my present. With a Huge smile on her face. She hugged me. Told me she loved me. Then walked away and asked me to put Wow Wow Wubbzy on TV.

Before bed, Zachy went up to give Mackenzie a hug. She told him she loves him. They fell down. Then did it all again.

I couldn't ask for anything more. It was an absolutely perfect Birthday.

WordyWednesday

I feel bad that I don't seem to have much time to make more thoughtful posts. But here's yet another running ramble, which will hopefully cover a bit of this and that and some musings. Here we go..

• Last night after we got home, Zachy walked right to the laundry room, right to where the hand vac is, right to where the detachable hose is, and got it out. To play with.
• Next he got the sweeper. He's a tot of cleaning appliances.
• Tonight when I was vacuuming, he got his toy one and vacuumed right alongside. He's my Helper Boy.
• I called him my Helper and Mackenzie promptly showed up from the other room. She proceeded to hold the vacuum cord for me. Until I told her it was okay if she wanted to go back and play cars. She did.
• On the way home last night in the car, Mackenzie said Mommy I missing Daddy. So I said, Great! He can lay down with you tonight. At bedtime she said, Mommy, I not missing Daddy anymore. You can lay down with me. I lucked out, yet again.
• I not the crabbiest! Zachy is. We are taking turns. You the luckiest. I guess that's one way of looking at it.
• About a friend at school: Oh Audrey. She's the cutest!
• Zachy points to his bum and tells me when he goes poo poo now. Consistently! And even 'before' sometimes.
• After accomplishing a new feat, Mackenzie said, Look Momma. I learning!
• Zachy rode his 'car' up to me, crashed into me, then said, Beep Beep!
• I gave Zachy a bath the other night. While wiping some water up from the floor, next thing you know, water all over me. Zachy was using a cup to throw water over his head and it landed on me instead. While the first time was an accident, I'm pretty sure the other four were not.
• Zachy's a boy. All boy. The other day he tooted while sitting on my lap. This made him laugh. Hard.
• I think he's making you fun in reference to Zachy running away with playdoh, laughing at me while I chased him. Her way of saying I think he's making fun of you? Or maybe she really meant he was making me fun. As in otherwise I'm not.
• I don't have an issue today, but Zachy does.
• Another Zachy boy moment: He likes to pretend to gag up food. When I say *likes* I mean *likes* as in he does it and finds it amusing.
• He also likes to pretend to toot on people now.
• Mommy just did her first If it's on the floor, it's mine speech. Unfortunately for me, I was talking about Mackenzie's cut up pieces of paper.
• And he likes to blow toot noises out of his mouth. If there's a silly noise to be made, he likes it. If he can figure out how to do it, he does it.
• Mackenzie used the phrase 'best friend' today. She was talking about Saige. And Jordan S. Do kids have best friends at three?
• I almost caught Mackenzie trying to push Zachy yesterday. When she saw me, she, with the attitude of a teenager, said What? I was just trying to move him out of my way like this (demonstrating gentle push). Nice try.
• On Monday, Mackenzie called me into the playroom. She whispered I just wanted to tell you I love you, but I'm not gonna talk to you.
• Today before Zachy was going down for nap, Mackenzie said But who will play Kindergarten with me? Zachy's my best friend.
• Sometimes Dad calls Zachy 'Fred.' It's like their own little thing.
• And sometimes he calls Mackenzie 'Chowder Head.' She doesn't like it. She says, I NOT CHOWDER HEAD. I MACKENZIE.
• Before I put Mackenzie to sleep tonight, she sang our Good Night song to Zachy. Sweetness.
• Sleep tight my little ones. I'll miss you guys tomorrow. Like crazy.

And so concludes my last day of being a Mommy in her 'early' forties. Said it before and I'll say it again, I'm one Lucky Momma!

2GoodTuesday3.8.11

Here's Three...

1. Zachy playing with balloons tonight. OhMeOhMy. He was giddy with excitement and laughter. Hard to get him calmed down for bed. But he was having fun.Fun.FUN! And that I like. A lot.
2. Mackenzie and I telling secrets. Whispering in one another's ear. Her secret for me? I missed you when I at school today, Momma. I melted. Not sure if there's any of me left.
3. Sibling too good from the morning: Mackenzie asked for an 'animal' and Zachy went and got her one. Actually what he got her was a rubber monster from the bath, which he calls 'Elmo.' So, I think he thought she asked for an Elmo. Regardless, it was sweet!
4. Okay, just one more. So this makes it 2GoodTuesdayx2. I know I already posted it, but Zachy says Mackenzie's name! Yay! Sibling Love.Love. Gotta Love It! Zachy heart 'Kengy.'

Total sidenote: I think kids are hardwired to know Elmo. Zachy has seen Sesame Street maybe once a 'long time ago' and yet totally knows who Elmo is. It's Freaky.

MyBabyMackenzie

The other night after Mackenzie fell asleep, I took a few moments to look at her sweet sleeping face. I cannot believe how 'big' she has gotten. She's three. It's so hard to remember back to when she was an itty bitty baby. Seems so long ago now. I felt a little mushy, loving the little girl she is and missing the little baby she was. It goes so fast. I'm thinking it's time for a little Mackenzie update. Catch up a bit on what's she up to, what she's saying, all that good stuff.


As always, she is as hilarious as ever. Just about every time she opens her mouth it's funny, whether she wants it to be or not. She has a sarcastic side to her. She not only says sarcastic things, but uses a sarcastic voice and sarcastic facial expressions. She likes to use the word 'Sorry' when she is being sarcastic. I not going to do that Momma. Sor-ry! (with a cute lil' head tilt and all.) She tends to be very much aware of what the rules are, but breaks them anyways and, what a shock, resists any consequences. As soon as a 'consequence' is being implemented, she will state all her infractions and promise never to do them again, in a very I'm humoring you type of way. Oh, okay Mackenzie...nice try!  Or, she tries to find new creative ways to push limits. One day she didn't like something I said and she said, I going to spit at the word (insert spitting noise). See Momma, I no spit at you, I spit at the word. Again, nice try Mackenzie! Clever and full of sass that girl is and, as I have said before, way smarter than I am. Unfortunate, but true! (I'm happy to say she has finally, it seems, moved on from the spitting phase. Replaced by what, I don't know yet. But she appears to be 'over' spitting.)

Mackenzie has a thing with doors right now. We have three doors off the living room, two bedroom and one bathroom. She will close them all and wants them to stay closed. If I go in a room and don't close the door when I come back, she will stop whatever she is doing and go close it or will say: Will you please close the bathroom door for me, Momma? If I do close it, she will say, Thank you for closing it for me. Polite little thing, isn't she? Now she also wants the window blinds closed, which is a drag, since it makes the house even darker. But she seriously cannot tolerate them open right now. She is in a Scaries Stage. So, I oblige her because...

Mackenzie likes to be the boss. At all times. She has no problem letting us know when we do something wrong. Noooo, you supposed to do it like this. You supposed to say it like this. And, she has no problem telling me when I do something she doesn't like or when she is mad at me: I no like that Momma. I not love you. I not your friend. But, when she's over it, she will sweetly say, I love you again Momma. You my friend. And, she's irresistibly sweet when she does. As much as she likes to be the boss and to be in charge, she also very much likes to be my helper. She is the most adorable helper there ever was. I am sure of it. She takes her jobs very seriously and works them to completion. She's diligent. And, as much as she likes to be the boss, she still likes to be our little girl and to be snuggled and taken care of.

Her imagination continues to be phenomenal. It cracks me up how I have gotten her so many toys to stimulate her imagination, yet very often she would much rather use a box for her baby to sleep in during her imaginative play than the play crib. I guess that's why they refer to it as 'using your imagination,' right? All of her play these days involves her imagination. And very often focuses on figuring out social norms and relationships. She rehearses a lot through play. With her dolls, her little people, stuffed animals, real people. You name it. One day on the way home in the car I heard in the back having pretend conversations with her friends. Saige, that's a beautiful shirt. Do you want to go play and be my friend? Oh here comes Emerson. A whole world she had going on in her car seat. Hearing it being played out was simply magical. As you can see, she's moved into social play. Her friends change all the time. Seems that the kids at the totcollege go through phases where so and so plays with so and so and the next day it's so and so and so and so. Lately it's been Saige again.

When things don't work out as well as she - we - would like, she is able to talk about it. Today her friend Ben was over and she did something that upset him. After he left she pretended to be Ben and told me that I was his Mommy. I asked 'him' what he did today and she went on to tell me about his play date with Mackenzie and how she hurt his feelings.(She did apologize to Ben and he accepted, so it was all okay. But clearly, after he left, she still had a little more processing to do.) This showed me that not only is she aware and trying to figure things out, but that she has some empathy too. And, is capable of reflection.

She works hard on her problem solving skills and, frequently, tries very hard to 'do the right thing' instead of impulsively reacting. She will 'decide' to wait patiently for her turn or share and take turns with someone or something. One of the best things about this is that she feels a sense of accomplishment when she successfully handles a situation. Seems that Three is a lot about repetition and rehearsal. Hard work. One morning she had had a rough morning and was cranky. After she calmed down, she said to me Momma, I'm sorry. Sometimes I don't know what the problem is. I was crying, I don't know why.

She's hit a few new 'milestones.' In no particular order:

• She's very into being 'first' unless it involves something she doesn't want to do and then she wants to be second or whatever is last.
• She is also into things being 'fair,' which means swayed in her favor. She has used the phrase Mo-om. That's not fair!
• Using different forms of the word 'Bored.' One day she was doing something unsafe and I told her I didn't want her to get hurt. She asked Why and I told her then we would have to go the hospital and she replied with Oh Mo-om. The hospital is boring!
• Being focused on being a 'big kid' and all that comes with it.
• Carrying BuddyCat around, which he doesn't always like.
• Having an evolved sense of 'what usually happens.' Usually I snuggle with Buddy in the morning on the couch.
• She loves using scissors. She is sort of starting to draw people like figures. She makes an 'M' and and an 'A.' And, she recognizes a few letters. She can do some counting - meaning identify how many objects there are. I think she counts to 20 now.
• She has some sense of time. Past and future. But they are still always yesterday and tomorrow.
• Using the word 'gross' on a regular basis. And 'stinky butt.' And, unfortunately, 'stupid.'

Mackenzie is a sweet girl. I talk often about her sass and spirit, but the truth is she is as loving as they come. She wants to please. She loves having fun. She loves to laugh and make others laugh. Actually, she really loves to make others laugh. She is vibrant and full of brilliance. Although she can be shy at times, when she is comfortable, she confidently takes the lead and is a good leader. She's inquisitive and is eager to explore and learn. She loves to snuggle and give hugs. She's 100% lovable in every way.

One night we were playing in bed before sleeptime and I told her I was going to eat her for lunch the next day. She got really (pretend) serious and said, But then you won't have a child. But then you could born-ded me again and I would be your baby.

She still is my baby. Doesn't matter how old she gets, she always will be.

Have I told you lately MyBabyMackenzie how much I Love You? VeryveryVERY Much!

2GoodTuesday2.1.11

It's that time again, Tuesday. The 'first day' of my two day work week, which ends on Thursday.

We had a good weekend. On Saturday we went to Costco, as usual Zachy got lots of Oh how cute he is. As did Mackenzie, but I think people 'see' him more because he is in the cart, whereas she is walking around or, at one point, on all fours playing dog, until she noticed how dirty her hands got, and then her OCD self stopped that game really quick. After Costco, they had some playtime at the mall and Mackenzie ran into her friend, Montana. The evening topped off with a trip to Red Robin, where a nice little girl gave Mackenzie a balloon. Made her night. And, she even said Thank You!

Oh, I almost forgot, earlier in the day Dad and Mackenzie went to the elementary school and played for an hour and a half on the playground! So, yah, Mackenzie had a pretty fabulous Saturday.

Sunday we took a family trip to the 'Mergress Park,' as Mackenzie calls it. It's actually 'Congress,' but 'Mergress' works and sounds adorable when she says it in her sweet three year voice. That was fun. We played on the swings, went down the slides and Mackenzie even did a bit of hiking up the 'mountain' with Dad. Zachy continues to love going down the slides and would yell Goooo when he was ready to come down.

Dad said that when he picked the kids up from school today, that Miss Sara told him that Mackenzie got a game of Musical Chairs going with some of the other kids. She's a leader! The Toddler Room said he had Tuna Noodle Casserole and loved it. They were starting to think he was going to keep going through naptime.

So, here's (at least) 2GoodThings from our week last week...

1. Mackenzie, Zachy and I all on the swings while Dad pushed us. Higher and Higher. I was 'pretending' to be scared, so Mackenzie joined right in. Dad, of course, kept pushing us higher. Zachy was laughing right along in the baby swing and was full of 'Whooooaaaa's.
2. I enjoyed spending a little one on one time with Zachy on Saturday when Mackenzie got to spend time at the school 'park' with Dad.
3. Okay, one more. Mackenzie told me this morning that she was going to miss me today. That just makes me melt.
4. I just thought of another one. I love coming home and having them be excited when I walk in the door. And then, I love how quickly they start interacting with me as if we never left (Momma...I need....Momma....UP!). It's the perfect end to the 'work' day.

RunningRambleNo.2

Whata week. Mostly good. We had a 'Moment' on Wednesday, but otherwise, not a bad week.

Wednesday I think we were all feeling a bit caged up. Especially me. After the holidays, the snow and then just not getting out, we've been home way too much. But, today we went to the zoo, full post with pictures to follow shortly.

I never really got around to posting this week other than my 2GoodTuesday. I started on Monday with some randomness, but never really finished. Then added a bit on Wednesday and then Friday. Also never finished. So, here's a combined RunningRamble effort from our at home days last week. Since they cover different days, ignore any 'time references!'

• I love the mud in the backyard since the snow melted. Really I do. So, so, so glad my kids are outside in the mud in their socks.
• Speaking of socks, Mackenzie has sock neurosis. They hurt her if there is the slightest crinkle.
• Mackenzie just called out from the playroom, 'I at the hospital. My baby is going to be a little born.'
• I think Zach threw away one of his Fisher Price toy milk bottles.
• Mackenzie is wayyyyy too fixated on Olivia. She now wants to be called Francine. Make that Queen Francine.
• Zachy came in and brought me his shoes to put on. The bottoms of his white socks are, not surprisingly, black.
• Yesterday Zachy and Mackenzie were outside. I hear him crying. I go see what's wrong. Mackenzie has been 'washing' him with cold, muddy water. Sweet sister.
• And, yesterday Mackenzie pretended to be a puppy, In doing so, she decided to pee in the backyard. It was as funny as it was disturbing.
• When I clean the playroom, I inevitably stop at the play kitchen. Do you think maybe, just maybe, this is some form of MommaRebellion?
• I just made broccoli, cauliflower and cheese soup, from scratch. Zachy is a food thrower. Why did I think this was a good idea?
• I made the mistake of referring to Mackenzie as 'Princess Mackenzie.' She's taken on this role and run with it. Demanding. Expects me to be at her beck and call. Oh wait...nothing's changed. Just another day with a three year old.
• Zachy comes up to me sometimes and just gives me a totboy hug. He's getting the whole cuddle idea too. Love it.
• Mackenzie is an expert Snuggle-bug. She Loves it. I Love it.
• Today I saw a wasp and the other day I saw a bee. Come on guys, it's January! We had snow. Shouldn't those things be gone by now? And I mean totally gone. Annoyed. And concerned, because if they have survived, they must be some sort of super stinging insect, bug or whatever they are species.
• Zachy is taking two to two and a half hours naps. Ridiculous! I might regret saying this, but bygosh he's become a good sleeper! Who'da Thunk that would even be possible!
• Mackenzie has a thing with closing all the doors off the living room. Wondering what it's about. I think it has something to do with her totfears and feeling safer and more in control with the doors closed off.
• Zachy just dumped dog food all over and said, Ut-oh. As if he didn't know that was going to happen!
• 'Momma, I need to jump way higher, so I will grow taller!'
• When I picked Zachy up yesterday, they said he is their favorite eater. He sits at the table, crosses his hands in front of him, and waits. Are they sure they were talking about my son, the food thrower?
• 'Momma, I having a bad, bad day because I got a papercut. Will you call the doctor so I can go in and say I got a papercut, please!'
• Mackenzie made sure I called the doctor. She asked to talk to the Doctor and wondered why the Doctor was not talking back. I made up some lame excuse. Told her the Doctor was busy writing everything down. She bought it and kept talking.
• Mackenzie playing Mommy to Zachy, sweetness.
• Mackenzie playing Doctor with BuddyCat. Have I mentioned how bizarrely patient that cat is?
• I will never get over how cute it is when Zachy puts a choking hazard in his mouth, seeks me out, laughs in my face and runs away. Cute and unfortunately dangerous at the same time.
• Zachy seeing his Favorite Book, 'Yummy, Yucky' and saying Ugy.
• Zachy now plays 'Baby.' He gets on the floor, crawls around and says, Baby. Hmmm....wonder where he got that idea?
• Zachy clapping and saying Yayyyy during the movie Happy Gilmore when Gilmore was playing golf.
• I am ashamed to admit this, but our 'Christmas tree,' a small, humble artificial one is still up. Maybe by February?
• Yippeeee! I found the missing milk bottle. He didn't throw it away. The wagon now has six again. Whoppeee. My life is complete.
• Mackenzie gets into arguments with RufusDog and BuddyCat.
• Mackenzie commenting, while lying on the couch, that something was Stinky. I pointed out it might be RufusDog or perhaps BuddyCat. And she replies with, Or maybe you, Momma. For the record, I was nowhere near her at the time.
• Zachy seeing Puffs and calling them Uffs.
• Mackenzie came up to me with her mouth wide open and then said, Momma, mouth is open. I tired.

TotMusing of the week:

Quite awhile ago, after Mackenzie had done something that upset me, she suddenly started to sing me the ABC song and I started to laugh. On Wednesday, I got upset with her after she dumped her smoothie all the over table for an 'art project.' When I was explaining my upset to her, she said:  Momma, Do I need to sing you the ABC song?

TotboyAndLollipopStealer

My kids seem to develop and do amazing things days much faster than I can possibly find the time to adequately document. It's constant. They are such little developmental sponges.

Zachy is a little totboy now. He's no longer a baby. He is full on tot. Still not in a defiant way, not yet anyway. But, he's grown. His wobble walk is less wobble. He tries to run now. That's pretty priceless. Today he learned how to point to his nose and ears and wiggle his hands, all in one day. He already had the tummy and the head down. He was playing Peek-A-Boo and, very softly and deliberately, said, 'ee ba boo.' He practices new words all the time. His actual vocabulary is still pretty minimal, although I suspect he says a lot more than we realise. And regardless of his use of actual words, he communicates what he wants very well and understands seemingly just about everything.

He imitates Mackenzie now. Loves to do what she is doing, which at times is okay and other times not so okay. One day she was pretending to fix her kitchen with some tools. He wanted some of that action, bad. But Mackenzie was not in the mood to share her game or the tools. Later, after she had gone to bed (he stays up about a half hour later), he went right to the tools and started to fix away. He even reproduced the sounds she was having her tools make.

Today they played doctor. More like Mackenzie played doctor and he decided, after she forced him, to comply. I look over and he's laying there while she examines him. When I walked over she asked me to take off his shirt. I didn't. But I laughed. When she was finished, she said, 'Your baby was very patient today.' She doesn't miss a beat, that girl of mine.

Things have been pretty good lately. Zachy is sleeping better and OHMEGOSH he goes down to sleep by himself. He cries for a minute or so (tonight just a whimper) and is quiet. Now if only I could get the three old to follow suit! I am convinced she is going to cosleep until she leaves the house. This morning she woke up and I was already out of bed and she came out and said, 'Momma, I was worried about you.' Probably more like she was a bit scared (she has definitely entered the stage of the scaries), but it was sweet nonetheless.

Oh, and BIG NEWS....Mackenzie got a real haircut (1-8-10)! Well, I cut it. She had gone with me to get a haircut and I asked about her hair, which I think might make the Guinness Book of World Records for slowest hair to ever come in. But it was cotton candy like in the back. The woman who was cutting my hair explained to me that I needed to cut it regularly in short layers to keep it healthy and growing in (Rookie Mom, I know). Mackenzie would not let her cut her hair, but the stylist showed me basically what I needed to do and I did when we got home and it looks a TON better! Yay! I know she still wants 'True Princess Hair' (Shame on you Dora the Explorer), but I think just seeing real hair on the floor felt good for her.

I cannot believe how fast they are growing up. They learn new things and change every single day. It's impossible to keep up with! They are constantly doing things that amaze me. They make me smile. They make me laugh. And, yes they make me crazy. But at the end of the day, I will have inevitably fallen more in love with both of them.

Now, for a few TotMusings...

• Last Spring Mackenzie and I went on an 'Adventure.' First stop was the car wash and, despite all we did afterward, all she could talk about was how much she did not like the carwash. On Saturday I asked her if she wanted to go on an 'Adventure.' Her response, 'Okay Momma. But I no like the car wash very much.'
• Mackenzie and Zachy were playing Merry-Go-Round; Her 'spinning' him around on an upside down Little Tikes Table. She would say, 'Zachy do you like this?' And he would say, 'YAH!' Trust me, hearing a sixteen month old and a three year say that over and over again is very amusing!
• Zachy loves meat and cheese sandwiches. Actually, what he really loves is the process of taking out the meat and cheese and eating it. He dismantles the sandwich, bit by bit. It's intense.
• Mackenzie called Zachy 'Dude' the other day. I have NO idea where she got that.
• The other day a plane was in the sky and Zachy started to wave and say, Bye bye. Mackenzie did the same thing at his age - it's in the Tot A curriculum, I suppose.
• Mackenzie likes Lollipops. Today she manipulatively told me to go in Zachy's Room, while looking at the Lollipops. I played along and she came and found me and said, I a Lollipop Sneaker! I going to tell everybody I a Lollipop Sneaker!

ThreeIsWeeeee

Three started out rocky. I have commented before that when I had a Parent Teacher Conference for Mackenzie at her Preschool, shortly after she turned Three, that I basically expressed that my daughter had gone mad. I was somewhat and somewhat not comforted by the teacher's response, which was that this is entirely normal. Mackenzie is full of Spunk and Sass. She's a character. Already at Three she provides me with lots of challenges, as well as humor and more love than I can wrap my brain around. 

She has a way of making me laugh. She is the only person I can think of who can make me want to scream and laugh at the same time. A few days ago, I was putting Zachy to bed. I let her stay on the couch and watch TV provided she did not interrupt. I had the bedroom door open just slightly. Next thing you know, I can see her cute little self trying to peak at me through the crack. Her cute little three-foot body sort of bent over and her head going up and down and to the side, trying to get the angle just right so she could catch my eye. I was trying not to laugh because she looked so adorable, but, at the same time, I wanted to scream as I felt my anxiety increasing because I feared the ThreeFootTallTotmonster had returned and was flirting with interrupting Zachy's naptime.

These days she holds her ground like an mule and likes to push limits and see what's going to happen. At the same time, ironically, she is more likely than before to enforce the limits herself. So, while she might make a big show of resistance to whatever it is that is 'expected' of her, she will suddenly, of her own free will, do what it is she 'needs' to do. Watching this process has helped me learn to be less over-reactive, and to allow her an opportunity to work it out. And in the process, she is able to experience a positive sense of power, feels good about herself and develops a bit more self control.

Her imagination blows my mind. She's really creative in her play and loves to play pretend. She uses a Little Tike's table upside down to play Merry Go Round and gives Zachy rides. She uses different things as baby cribs for her dolls (despite having actual play cribs, why did I waste that money?). She likes to make up stories. Often about cows of all things - middle of nowhere influence coming through. Through the day, she pretends she is different people and actually stays in character. One day she was 'Miss Ann' and I mistakenly called her 'Mackenzie.' I went to the back bathroom and quickly heard her coming after me yelling. Once she found me, she loudly said, 'I NOT Mackenzie, I Miss Ann.' To which I responded, 'Hi Miss Ann.' Then she cocked her head to the side and with a sweet smile and even sweeter voice and said, 'Hi-iii.' All the girl wanted was a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T.!

Then there's the baby game. Not my favorite. I have tried numerous things to discourage this game. It's a game where I have to treat her like a baby. There's something slightly un-enjoyable about this for me. Okay, really un-enjoyable. Truthfully, I think twins would be less work than she is when she plays baby. For Christmas she had wanted (and got) a red baby buggy for her dolls. I had tried telling her that it's a big girl toy and not for babies, so we would have to tell Santa not to bring her one. She replied with, 'I charge my cell phone and then I call him to bring me push toys.' Really? So much for reverse psychology! At one point I told her, 'Mackenzie, I am not playing the baby game anymore.' She responded with a very stern, 'I NOT Mackenzie. I NOT playing baby. I AM BABY.' So there. As usual, I stand corrected. But, I have finally, I think, managed to take some of the fun out of the game, therefore hopefully eliminating it or at least changing the rules to make it more tolerable. I refuse to let her waste any more diapers. It was getting ridiculous. Before Christmas I had too much going on and, admittedly, allowed things to happen so I could  accomplish something. And, there was a time where I did not want to make it a power struggle, so I figured indulging it would let it run it's natural course. But, the 'baby game' had an annoying life of it's own. Finally the other day I told her 'No more wasting diapers.' (She is potty trained, which made the diaper thing even more annoying.) Initially, she protested loudly for about fifteen minutes, however, now when she wants to play 'baby,' she says, 'I can pretend to be baby in my big girl clothes, right?' And the game and involvement are less intensive.  For now.

Mackenzie has started to make up words. She might say something like, 'That's beebah.' She loves that she makes up words. Gets really proud of her 'new word.' She also makes up songs. Her songs are usually to tunes she already knows. She will either make up new lyrics or just switches 'em up a little bit. Last night she was singing a song that says I love you...and she started to sing, 'I love Zachy. Oh Zachy Zachy Zachy, you my little brother. I love Zachy.' THAT was sweet. When she makes up all new lyrics, they usually relate to 'poopy' and 'stinky.'  Today she sang 'Twinkle twinkle wittle Christmas star....'  Speaking of songs, she loves to sing and dance and perform. She will get out the play mic and sing for us. She works the crowd, totally. At the end of the song, her voice will gain intensity and bravado and she will go into some sort of run. When she finishes, she does the whole, 'Thank you all for coming,!' and takes a bow.

She is figuring out how to apply more complex concepts such as time - 'tomorrow,' 'yesterday,' 'later' and such as 'too small' or 'too big.' 'Yesterday' is anything that happened in the past and 'Tomorrow' is, of course, anything that will happen in the future. She knows what 'small' and 'big' are if she sees them in a concrete way - pictures or blocks, for example. But, trying to figure out if she means her shoes are 'too small' or 'big' is another story. Actually her shoes could even fit and she just doesn't wear them, so then she plays like they are too small or big just to get out of it. She's a clever one. And a tot that cried wolf FOR SURE! She will like to throw out random times for things, such as, 'I go to bed at forty-five-six.' I love her use of the past tense: 'I sleep-ded good.' Lately, she loves to use the word 'Ever' for emphasis. 'I ever not going to do that Momma!' She randomly uses phrases or words I didn't realise she knew, 'Oh my Goodness!' came out of her mouth out of the blue last week. All things just sound cuter when a three year old says them.

I have decided that I really need to attach a sign to her when I take her in public that says, 'Beware, Sassy Tot. Talk with Caution and at Your Own Risk!' One evening I stopped by my work with her. I think the people at my work have a sense of humor. At least I hope they do. Truth is, she was pretty cute, although pretty sassy. Walking a fine line there, MissyTotgirl! What I do know is that she is figuring out social situations, as three year old kids do. Despite being sassy and spirited, she can be very shy around strangers, so, I think it makes her a little nervous when people she doesn't know start talking and paying attention to her, and she reacts. Sometimes big people expect kids to be able to handle things in grown up ways. She has her own temperament and her own personality. She's on the Slow to Warm Up side of things. She just is who she is and that's prefectly okay.

Mackenzie is a great big sister to Zachy. Well usually. Sometimes he bugs her. Sometimes intentionally, often unintentionally - but probably more and more intentionally than not. But she loves nothing more than when she is in the mood and he plays with her. They laugh together and it's delightful to watch. She definitely owns her role as Big Sister. She has become the 'Helper' and will try to comfort him when he is upset, speaks for him at times, bosses him around here and there and is, most of all, veryVeryVERY protective over him. You will be met with her totwrath if you try to touch him in public or if she perceives that you have made him cry (Only She is allowed to do that!). Today some people walked by our house and they dared to say, 'Hi.' She put her arm around him and guided him away. Protective indeed.

She is beginning to understand more about her feelings and emotions (as well as the feelings and emotions of others). And learning to Problem Solve, which I think helps her learn to regulate her emotions. The other day she identified herself as being 'angry' and was able to explain why. I was blown away. She said it appropriately and without tantrum. She can tell me when she is sad or happy. She practices her different emotions. She is learning to ask for what she needs. She has started, for example, to ask for help when her little brother frustrates her, instead of just knocking him over (although that still happens too).

I would venture to say that Mackenzie, already at Three, knows me pretty well. I really think we get one another. She likes to tell me 'It's okay Momma' usually when she knows I am getting 'Frustrated' ('Don't get frustrated, Momma. It's okay.'). She'll also provide reassurance if something 'happens.' Like maybe something falls over (amazing how many things fall over when you have kids, right?). 'It's okay, Momma. You can pick it up.' Note she doesn't say she'll pick it up (Me, Laughing). I think we have a pretty good relationship. I try very hard to listen to her, let her know she is important. Because she is. I encourage her to speak up and tell me what is going on. Sometimes it's complicated. But we work things out.

For whatever reason Three definitely started out rough. But all in all, almost five months into Three, I'd have to say I am finding to be magnificently complex and magically simple at the same time. It seems to be an age of dichotomies and contradictions. She is developing and learning new things every day. She's making connections between things. She is impulsive yet, able to think through situations more and more. She is emotionally reactive, yet able to come around by providing herself with thoughtful comfort. She's more combative than ever, but also more intentionally compliant. She wants to please. She's figuring out social relationships and how to 'Be.' She's able to reframe and reorganize things, restore balance in her universe and herself. She's a bit yin and a bit yang. One might say, ThreeIsWheeeee! And, I'm Lovin' It! I'm Lovin' Her!

RunningRamble

I have been off of work for fourteen days, not intentionally. I only work two as it is. I last worked two weeks ago today. With the holidays, I had some holiday time and then I was supposed to work last Thursday, but weather prevented that, so I have been off for fourteen days. Tomorrow I go back to work and the kids return to Totcollege. Not sure if I'm ready for real life, but we gotta do what we gotta do. Right?

Thought I'd do a rambling post today as the day goes on. Things from today as well as any things I think of that I have not documented. So, here I go...

• Zachy says 'Milk' now. And 'Yah,' when you ask him if he wants something and he does. If he doesn't, he shakes his head 'No.'
• Mackenzie is watching 'Birth Day,' a television show about birthing. I tried to change the channel and she asked if she could watch it for a little bit longer. I guess that's okay? (She did stop watching before the more graphic parts hit, in case anybody is concerned.)
• Mackenzie now likes playing 'Restaurant Leader;' Translation: Waitress. (And actually, she pronounces it 'Astronaut Leader,' but definitely means Restaurant.) She also likes to play 'Hotel.' She still plays 'Baby,' but doesn't like it as much since I refuse to let her continue to waste diapers. She also likes to play 'Puppy' and we have to drop her off at 'Doggy School.'
• My Mom said that Zachy looks like a Precious Moment's character. She's right. He is totally that S.W.E.E.T.! His big eyes along with his flirtatious smirk seem to be saying, 'Who me?'
• Mackenzie likes cold rice and cold noodles. No heating up means one less step for me. Like it.
• Zachy comes up with 'games' now that he likes to do over and over and he gets that toddler belly laugh thing going on in anticipation of the coming 'event.' Last night it was me kissing his bum bum. Cute at first, strange after awhile.
• 'We ever not going to get to it to work. Sorrry!' Mackenzie now uses the word 'ever' a lot and it's cute to hear how she uses it. Her language development is phenomenal.
• I get so amused when Zachy and Mackenzie play together, I always wonder what he thinks is going on. Something tells me it's not what she thinks is going on!
• Mackenzie now calls Zachy either 'Zacker' or 'Ding Dong.' I think she got the latter from my Mom. Nice job Grammy!
• Before leaving for California, I told Mackenzie that we were leaving after Dad took care of the cats, Buddy and Rainbow and Oliver. She asked, 'What about Missy?' referring to the Feral cat who lives outside and then found Dad to make sure he was going to take care of her too. Isn't that kind? Now, if only I could extend that to her father, her brother and me.
• 'I sure I are did.' Her response to me asking if she really got all the 'poopy out of her bum bum.'
• Mackenzie is playing 'Grocery Store' and Zachy is throwing away dog food, one piece at a time.
• 'And I already say to you that you ARE getting me Puffs.' After I told her, 'I already said you are not having Puffs.'
• Zachy playing carrying a baby in one hand a purse in the other. Meanwhile, Mackenzie plays cars.
• I think she just called me a 'Spitty-Poo.' Gotta hand it to the Girl. Creative use of insults.
• I pulled out Zachy's Little Wheelies track and said we need some cars. He bent down and picked one up and said, 'Car!' I loveLoveLOVE how much he understands and communicates.
• It seriously breaks my heart when I put Zachy down for his nap and cries. He looks so hurt. Today he only cried for two or three minutes, but, at the time, it feels like forever.
• Oh where, oh where did that green ball go? Oh where, oh where could it be?
• Zachy woke up after about 53 minutes. Had a second cry it out. Ick. Lasted longer, but I think he's back asleep. :-(
• Mackenzie won't nap. This should make for a happy girl in an hour or so. But, it means early bed. Last night she and I were actually arguing about her going to bed. She was trying to go to bed earlier than I wanted her to (because she had napped and was tired). Six forty-five, she was O.U.T.
• Mackenzie is outside in 40'something degree weather with a dress and shoes, no pants or tights. I finally got her to put a jacket on. Oh, did I mention that the ground is covered in snow?
• We were at Costco the other day and Zachy was in a stroller, trying to get out. He was yelling at folks walking by and I swear he was trying to get somebody to free him. But he wasn't fussing, which just made it funny.
• 'Come pick up your beautiful baby.' Mackenzie playing 'Baby' at 'Babycollege.'
• Have I mentioned how C.U.T.E. Zachy looks when he dances? He is a lover of music!
• Note to self: When cooking a grain or a pasta or a grain pasta you have not used in a long time, seek direction. Today's disaster involved Orzo.
• Sometimes Zachy just walks up to me, laughs and walks away. What exactly is so funny, my little sixteen month old?
• Zachy and Mackenzie playing tag. Priceless.
• Sometimes Zachy just walks up, looks at me with his big eyes, hugs my legs, and says, 'Up.' Melting just thinking about it.
• Mackenzie is just plain a cuddle bug. She snuggles like crazy. I love it. Totally.
• Gosh I'm going to miss my babies tomorrow!

InTheMoment

I had a busy day, but was missing my kids by the time they got home. How did I know they got home? I heard Mackenzie yelling 'Momma, Momma' at the front door. When I opened it, she was standing there, drenched with her slowly-growing-in hair all curly from being wet, her cheeks nice and rosy.

I asked her how her day was at Carol's and she replied, Good, Caleb and I were good helpers. They had helped picked up toys I guess. Gotta hand it to her, Caleb is seven and she's only three, so that Carol said She and Caleb were being the good helpers, well that's pretty impressive for a three year old. Still waiting for it to happen here...won't hold my breath!

She went right to the potty. Said in her cutest totvoice, I have to go REALLY BA-AD! Can you get me my cars? So, I had to get her all set up. Table - check, bucket of cars - check, stool to set the bucket of cars on - check. Okay, now she can get to the business at hand.

Dad carried in a barefoot Zachy. He now takes off his shoes and socks for entertainment whilst driving. He greeted me with his big eyes and a delighted smile. Makes me melt every time. He got right to work. Bringing me his shoes and socks to put on. Then he decided he needed to throw away the dog food. Piece by piece. Wobble walking to and fro - from the dog dish to the trash can and back and forth again and again.

Totally IntheMoment. I love that about toddlers. Gone all day and they get home and immediately fall into being right where they are. Doing whatever it is they do. So, while I enjoyed a nice quiet, albeit busy, day alone, I loved getting to spend some time just 'being in the moment' with them tonight. Lucky, Lucky Me.

RandomStuff

I guess the official countdown to Christmas is here. My Oh My.  Today is a Monday and I worked. I am off for the next nine days and then work one followed by four more off. I think I can handle that. Totcollege is closed this week and today the kids went to Carol's. They will also go on Wednesday and I will focus on the arduous tasks of packing and wrapping. Whopppeeee!

I think our weekend was good. We had our most wonderful Gingerbread Making House Party on Friday. Saturday we went to a party at some friend's house, Ann and Harry. We didn't get home until after nine, which is really late around here. Yesterday we were too pooped to pop as Mackenzie might say. Before bed we all drove around a little bit and looked at some lights. Mackenzie wanted them all on her side. I think Zachy even got the idea, somewhat.

Saturday and Sunday we made Grandma presents. Mackenzie painted frames. She did a lovely job. Then Sunday Mackenzie and Zachy made sweatshirts with their handprints. That was an experience. They turned out cute, definitely made by little hands. It's the thought that counts, right?

A couple random points...

• Over the weekend Zachy decided he likes to walk backwards. Why? Because he can. He thinks it's pretty funny. So do I. I also happen to think it's really cute too.
• Tonight when I got home from work Mackenzie was in the bathroom doing her #2 thing, waiting for me to get home so I could help. Love that not so much.
• I think, yes I think, Mackenzie finally cares about Fisbee the Elf.
• Zachy is communicating up a storm. He understands so much. He follows simple commands. Watching his communication skills develop is a blast.
• When Zachy gets upset he throws a little tantrum. Usually this involves walking across the room and laying down face down. It's sort of sad. And sort of cute.
• Mackenzie is in a phase where she gets scared of things, like being alone in the dark. Or in the light for that matter. She just really does not like being alone.
• Zachy tries to run now. Given that he still has somewhat of a wobble walk thing going, I find his 'running' effort pretty impressive.
• Mackenzie set up a picnic for her and her baby this evening. It was sweet.
• I asked Mackenzie how Zachy did at Carol's today and she said,  'I protect him, Momma.' What a good Big Sister she is!

That's all I got. Nighty-night time for this Momma!

MackenzieTheArtist

Such a busy eight days. I think I might just make a couple of posts in a row to catch up. Otherwise, I will have one very long, very photo-heavy post.

This post is about Mackenzie's Art Showing at the Preschool. Last Friday the Preschool Teachers hosted an Art Museum to showcase all the art projects they have been doing as a class. Each student had their own section. The event was very nicely put together and a local reporter even covered it!

I got sort of emotional walking in. This was an opportunity for the children to feel proud of their accomplishments. How Awesome! And how I loved seeing Mackenzie's work! She is most certainly a Fine Fine Artist!

A few photos from the night...

In front of the Totcollege....

And Zachy in front of the Totcollege...

Splatter art...

Hanging in the Big Kid's Classroom!

And the Star of the Night is...

My Little SuperArtist!

Soooo Proud!

Mackenzie with her teacher.

Cute&SweetOD!

I think I OD'd on cuteness&sweetness tonight. Seriously. There are times my kids are so cute I Can.Not.Stand.It. Tonight was one of those nights. It started with them playing some game where Mackenzie was pretending to be his Mommy and was dropping him off to the 'Fanty Teacher' (what she calls the 'Infant Teacher'). Strangely, I think Zachy MIGHT have sort of gotten what was going on. He was totally playing along. AAHHHHH. It was cuteness overload.

But then came bathtime. He started to wash her hair. Look for yourself. More cuteness and absolute sweetness galore.

It was so cute&sweet, I almost couldn't stand it.

Then Mackenzie and I started to be 'Kissy Monsters.' We were attacking Zachy and kissing him. He ate it up and was belly laughing. I decided to tell Zachy to be the 'Kissy Monster' and he got it! He started to pop his lips and give Mackenzie his best 'Kissy Monster' kisses. That's when I OD'd. Seriously.

Through all the chaos and the challenges, nights like these remind me what it's all about. These are the times, I want to cry I love them so much. Thank You my sweet, loving, kind, amazing Mackenzie and Zachy. WOW, Blessed I Am!

Ah-liCat

Today Mackenzie was going through some old photos and said, 'Oh, that Ah-li cat.' She was referring to Tali, who is no longer with us. Talicat was laid to rest almost exactly three years ago. Mackenzie recognises her through photos. 'What happened to Ah-li cat, Momma?' 'She died.' 'Why, Momma?' 'Her body was not working anymore.'

Death is such a strange thing when you are trying to explain it to a Toddler. I had a Death and Dying class once and I cannot remember for the *life* of me what you are supposed to say a three year old. I remember what you don't want to say. You don't want to say that someone was sick, or tired, or went bye-bye. I seem to remember that saying someone died because they were old is a no-no as well. It can be scary to them, especially if they have older people in their lives, like grandparents. If I recall, religious beliefs aside, saying things like they went to Heaven or that God took them is too abstract and confusing to someone so little. And, it can also be scary. Yah, a lot of things not to say.

I think I gave the right response.

So, back to Talicat. Talicat was old when Mackenzie came into this world. She was about seventeen. I waited for years for Talicat to die. Not because I wanted her to, but for years she seemed to be on her way out. Seriously. But that cat hung on like nobody's business. I'm telling you. She was a tough old cat. In the end she was pretty sickly. I (We) kept thinking she would pass naturally. But no, she just kept on. She had some dementia for her last couple of years. It was really rather endearing, sad but endearing. Suddenly you would hear her crackly meow and you knew she was likely stuck, facing some random wall in the house, not realising she could just turn around. You would yell out 'You're okay Tali,' which seemed to orient her. I smile remembering her, young and old.

When I was pregnant with Mackenzie I really hoped Tali would be alive long enough to meet her. Somehow it seemed very important to me. She had, after all, been in my life for a good sixteen plus years at that point. And she did. Unlike the other cats who ran and hid, she was pretty oblivious to the crying newborn in the house. Now that's a confused cat for sure! Shortly before Tali died, when Mackenzie was almost four months old, I actually got a picture of the two of them by one another. It meant a lot. I'd have to go through too many unorganised photos to find it, but here is a picture of Miss Talicat in her later years...

Today, quite awhile after she saw the pictures of her dear old friend Talicat, Mackenzie randomly said to me, 'Momma, I missing that cat. Ah-li cat. The cat that died-ed. I'm still a little upset.' Me too my sweet little Mackenzie, me too.